THE FOLLOWING ARTICLE HAS APPEARED IN THE RECORD ON May 7, 2003

Reflections on the war in Iraq

I must admit, when I began writing this article the televised version of the war was provoking such a roller coaster of emotions I had a hard time just choosing my words. Depending on the live scenes, one minute I felt elated, the next, sad, frustrated and angry. When I first observed the Iraqi people celebrating the toppling of Saddam

Hussein's statue I had some serious misgivings and ripped up my draft. How could I criticize the invasion while the cheering Iraqis were thanking US troops in the streets of Baghdad? Little did I realize that in the days that would follow those images would be replaced by scenes of chaos, protests and anarchy? Before long I was back feeling frustrated and angry. I simply couldn't understand why the war planners hadn't anticipated the widespread looting, the lack of water, electricity and food. If their purpose was to win the Iraqi hearts, they certainly weren't making their difficult task any easier.

Looking back, I had no idea how I would react to the televised bombing and shelling of Iraq, while glued to my TV. Unlike the Persian Gulf War in 1991, the reporters were transmitting live news 24 hours a day, direct from the front and without any military censor. During the early days of the war the feeling of excitement was overwhelming. Thanks to the satellite-connected video cameras I could easily imagine being inside a M1-A1 battle tank or in an Air Force B-52 while it pounded away at enemy positions with precision guided missiles. Watching the bombs hurtle towards their targets through the lenses of the missile tip cameras was truly mind-boggling. I'm not ashamed to admit that while I was riveted to the powerful battle scenes I was looking for revenge against a corrupt and viscous dictator whose lavish palaces were built at the expense of his impoverished people. To put it bluntly I couldn't wait until the coalition forces stormed Baghdad and crushed Saddam Hussein and his Republican Guard.

Inasmuch as one of the stated goals of the war was to liberate the Iraqi people from tyranny and brutality I was expecting them to welcome the coalition forces with open arms and tears in their eyes. No doubt, I was also hoping to rid myself of my own doubts as to the legitimacy of the invasion without the backing of the United Nations. When the Iraqis failed to express their appreciation during the early days of the war, I rationalized that they were either afraid or hadn't forgotten how President Bush Sr. left them twisting in the wind right after the first Gulf War.

I took it for granted that the coalition forces would locate the infamous weapons of mass destruction, which caused the war. I hadn't forgotten Colin Powell's famous plea before the UN Security when he resorted to wiretap evidence, satellite pictures and drawings. When the "Shock and Awe," strategy failed to demoralize the Iraq army to the point of surrender I began to wonder if the hatred for Saddam within Iraq was less intensive than the hatred for the coalition powers. In retrospect, I obviously felt a need to fit everything into neat and simple slots - the good against the bad -the coalition saviors liberating terrorized citizens. My Pollyannaish expectations meant that I also wanted quick results, nothing less than a complete and unequivocal surrender.

Although I was never worried about the military outcome of the wear I found myself becoming more frustrated with each passing day. Instead  of  exciting   war scenes, the news reports seemed to focus on images of injured and dying Iraqi citizens, international protest and of  friendly fire. Pretty soon I began switching channels whenever a disturbing a scene popped on my television screen. Be that as it may, it became impossible to avoid glimpses of the enormous destruction of civilian property as well as video clips showing thousands of displaced people whose lives had been disrupted because of a lack of food, water and shelter.

Slowly but surely my feelings for revenge against Saddam Hussein and his henchmen no longer seemed all that important. At first it was because of the young American and British soldiers who were killed in the prime of their lives. Later on it had as much to do with the constant pounding of selected targets by coalition missiles. I couldn't help but imagine their deadly impact on innocent civilians. To make matters worse, I could never forget that all of the destruction could have easily been avoided had President Bush Sr. stripped Saddam Hussein of his military weapons back in 1991.

Now that the war is over I have some serious doubts that Iraq was in possession or weapons of mass destruction by the time the invasion was launched. It seems only reasonable to assume that with the custody of so many highly ranked Iraqi prisoners, at least one of them would have decided to cooperate and reveal their whereabouts. Finding them remains paramount. Without weapons of mass destruction, Iraq could not have been a threat to the United States. The invasion justification thus collapses and along with it, the credibility of the US doctrine of preemptive strikes against "rogue states ". No, I haven't forgotten that the Iraqi government was in material breach of U.N. Resolution 1441. However, I also remember the allegations that private US laboratories armed Iraq with biological weapons during Iraq's war against Iran between 1980 and 1988.

While there can be no doubt that the coalition forces succeeded in pulverizing Saddam Hussein's military force in record time and with relative ease, the real challenge lies ahead. Unfortunately, I'm far from convinced that it will ever be possible to create a democracy in a country which has so few democratic traditions and which happens to be fragmented by so much ethnic and religious strife. At best, the process will take decades.

So why don't I turn off my television set and thus avoid all of the emotional turmoil. Believe me, I have tried. I even thought of going cold turkey by canceling all of my satellite news programs. The simple truth is that I continue to be drawn back to the daily news reports, hoping to be convinced that the gain in overthrowing Saddam Hussein's regime was worth the pain and suffering that the war brought in its wake.